The Mask Of Love

Zia Darakshan

Srinagar,24 July : Ever heard of any crimes that are not prosecuted in a court of law?
That’s right the kind of crime that goes unnoticed, untried, and unpunished. Crimes that are more serious in nature and even more horrible in the way they affect the victim over time. Even though the trauma is not physical, it completely upends the victim’s mental, emotional, and even financial well-being, causing long-term impairment. The victim is permanently disabled. They say nothing as their world is rocked like a tsunami. Why? Because they are judged, humiliated, and even abandoned in many cases. Our mighty society does everything in its power to exclude them, push them to the periphery, and ostracize them.. Many are left to struggle with mental breakdowns and psychological collapse, which remain unchallenged. They are left to endure it alone, with no help or validation available. The tricky part is that the perpetrator leaves no trace. No mark, no scar, no paper trail not even a legal system that recognizes the crime. This is emotional fraud, a betrayal committed by those who pretend to be protectors. It is so subtle that it often goes unnoticed until the victim has been stripped off their financial resources, dignity, and emotional strength.
What makes emotional fraud so devastating to victims is that it’s left unaddressed. It thrives in the silence. The victim is often unaware they are being manipulated, and if they are, they are usually too embarrassed, confused, or otherwise compromised to do anything about it. More than an unspoken aspect of the psychological abuse, silence allows the predator to further his agenda, while the person being targeted is unaware and, therefore, left to face it alone.
How it operates
The Mechanics of Action of Emotional Fraud comes in many ways. In romantic relationships, it appears through false hopes to get married or eternal love, followed by the extraction of emotional and financial support. During the relationship, the partner will pretend to be concerned about the other’s problems or even create fake disasters to get help or money or simply gain the other’s trust. Once a person gets what he wants, he leaves to do the same thing with another “victim,” thus breaking someone’s heart and the person’s expectations.
While the perpetrators think they have achieved their goal, the victims suffer in silence. The trauma is akin to cutting off the oxygen supply that extinguishes the flames in their inner worlds. However, they cannot speak. The irony is that the abuser is not always known to the victim; sometimes, the very person they believed would protect them is the one causing harm.. Emotional exploitation typically comes with a soft facial expression, but behind this façade is manipulation, control, and betrayal.
In reality, emotional fraud is much worse than a digital scam. In an online financial fraud, your work and saved money disappear in a moment. In contrast, with emotional fraud, you are robbed over time of everything that you have grown throughout years of struggles, long hours of work, sleepless nights and dedication: a belief system. The one that you have managed to build with your own hands: trust, decency, modesty, and earnings. And the scariest one, no proof is left by the criminal that can be used in court or by the police.
The Manipulator’s Toolkit

Gaslighting involves manipulating victims to question their personal perception of reality.The term appears frequently especially within social media platforms. In everyday talk people often casually associate this term with manipulation without understanding its full meaning. Gaslighting proves to be a more lethal form of psychological control than basic manipulation techniques.
To dig deeper we understand gaslighting operates as a manipulation technique but extends further because it is a deliberate endeavor to cause a person to doubt their memory and perception as well as their sanity. The abuser denies facts consistently while blaming others and minimizing feelings to rewrite events to fit their narrative.
You have been repeatedly told that your clear memories or feelings are nonexistent because they are “all in your head”.
“You’re too sensitive’
You’re overreacting ‘
You have behavioural issue ‘
As time progresses the victim loses confidence in their instincts and ability to remember facts as well as judge situations and understand their emotions. Victims start depending completely on the abuser’s depiction of events. That’s the real danger—the erosion of self-trust.
Gaslighting represents a type of psychological assault which damages without leaving physical marks or scars. The victim experiences a profound fracture in their sense of self. The method involves more than manipulation because it represents an emotional battle to disarm victims and dominate their lives.

This tactic forces the victim to feel accountable for the harmful actions of their abuser.

Abusers employ this crude technique to emotionally disarm their victims through effective manipulation. The manipulator makes the victim pay for all their mistakes by shifting their own faults and toxic behavior onto the victim.
Guilt-tripping – making the victim feel responsible for the abuser’s actions. This tactic though basic, works well to disarm the victim. The manipulator always points the finger at the victim for any problems—shifting their own mistakes, failures, or bad behavior onto the victim’s shoulders. They say things like
‘You threw me off track,’ or
‘Your actions and attitude caused all these issues.
If not for you, I’d be living in a golden palace with a great life, and so on.
These comments try to break down the victim’s self-esteem while suggesting that the manipulator’s flaws come from what the victim has done. As time passes, the victim takes on this blame, loses faith in themselves, and starts to doubt their own choices and actions. They begin to think they’re the reason for the manipulator’s unhappiness when in fact, they’re the ones being drained . Guilt-tripping keeps the victim stuck in a loop of blaming themselves and trying too hard to make up for it. It destroys their sense of self-worth making them more likely to be manipulated further. The predator uses this guilt like a leash—pulling it tight whenever the victim tries to stand up for themselves or leave.
Emotional blackmail – controlling through fear, shame, and obligation.

This is yet another deceptive tool used by the manipulator . Emotional blackmail operates under the illusion that everything was once perfect—only for it to fall apart due to uncontrollable “circumstances.” The manipulator constantly reminds the victim of the few obligations or “favors” he has done, framing them as proof of his sacrifice and loyalty.
“At least he stood by me,” victim assures himself.
“Even if he’s flawed, he didn’t leave me like others did.”
Why? Because in their eyes, even a small gesture of support from the manipulator appears angelic—especially when compared to a society that has failed them, judged them, spoken behind their back, and never offered genuine help. The victim, in their heart, starts seeing the oppressor as the “lesser evil,” someone who—despite the manipulation—at least didn’t abandon them like the rest of the world did.
This distorted perception traps the victim further. Emotional blackmail weaponizes the victim’s isolation, turning guilt and obligation into chains. The predator makes the victim feel that walking away would mean betrayal. The fear of being left entirely alone, combined with shame and emotional confusion, keeps the victim tethered—even when they know something is terribly wrong.
The most dangerous Mask
Precisely, the most dangerous mask worn by the oppressor is love. The one who pretends to love ,only to prey on the victim’s emotions, spirit, soul, and assets while hiding behind the mask of a savior.
They don’t feel guilt or remorse. They weaponize the victim’s own empathy, guilt, and loyalty to keep him from standing up for himself.
The Legal Blind Spot
We define criminals by the crimes they commit murder, theft, assault, fraud. These are punished by law.
But emotional fraud remains unspoken, unrecognized, and unpunished despite its devastating psychological toll.
It’s time we gave voice to this silence. It’s time we redefined what a crime is.
Because no crime should be excused just because it leaves no visible scar.
Who Suffers the Most?
Mostly it’s the socially vulnerable and gullible people—the emotionally isolated, less privileged, abandoned by the very families and communities that were meant to protect them. These people suffer in silence—ashamed, emotionally crippled, and without support.
“She/he thought he was her safe space. He gave her comfort, promises, and dreams of a better future—but never kept any of them. He appeared to protect her from a world that had defamed her, snatched her support system, and taken away her bread and butter. In reality, he was the worst oppressor—he wore the mask of love.”
Time to wake up !
This silent crime must be recognized—before it’s too late.
Take cognizance when someone showers you with affection too quickly.
Question their intent. Trust your instincts.
Don’t let yourself be duped by false love and fake promises of marriage.
Your mental health, your dignity, your peace are sacred and worth protecting.